Wednesday, 25 March 2009


I watched the Watchmen on Tuesday at the IMAX theatre.
I've read the graphic novel already, so I had great expectations for the film.

Photo: New York Magazine

However, I was disappointed. Very very very disappointed.
In the end, the Watchmen turns out to be a typical Hollywood film.

Three long hours felt like five hours.

The film had all the good stuff: special effects, talented actors/actresses, amazing costume designs, and a moderately good plot.

...but the makers tried to put so much stuff into the film that they've completely lost track.

The first half of the film was great. After that, it felt like the director was saying something like, "Ah, fuck it. Let's just get it over with." It felt rushed. Yeah, The Watchmen is a graphic novel and it may be impossible to put everything together into one film... but come on, Ghost World anyone? Road to Perdition? American Splendor???? A History of Violence???? Persepolis??????????

The things I didn't like about the film (Warning- some spoilers):

+Sex scenes between Daniel Dreiberg (Nite Owl) and Laurie Jupiter (Silk Spectre), totally unnecessary. No one wants to see that shit on IMAX, at least not for me.

"Oh, Grow up Eun!"

Photo: Unreality Magazine
+Doctor Manhattan's wang was totally distracting. When he was talking, I was staring at his peen.
+Sally Jupiter (the first Silk Spectre) tells her daughter Laurie that she was ashamed of the fact that Laurie's father is The Comedian. However, Sally claims that she never hated The Comedian because "he gave me you (Laurie)." Bitch please, you are in love with him. And dammit, put down that alcohol already, woman! Aren't you supposed to be 65 years old?
+Walter Kovacs (Rorschach) breaks and ties inmate's hand. The inmate's boss, Big Figure tells him that he is "in his way of getting his revenge" on Kovacs, so he tells the other minion to cut his arms. The blood literally SPLASHES all over the wall for waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long.
The scene was like...
-close up on Kovacs' face and then...
-the inmate screaming, "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" and then...
-more close up on Kovacs' face and then....
-Blood splashing on the wall and then...
-More screaming. More blood splashing... and then...
-Blood splashing
-Blood splashing
-....Blood splashing
Big figure runs away in fear when one of his minions gets electrocuted by Kovacs. Which is more disturbing, death by cutting person's arms or death by electrocution????

Photo: Celebrity Hot Dump
+Jeffrey Dean Morgan portrays the role of Edward Blake/The Comedian. Why didn't I like it? He made me hot and bothered when he was abusing women. It's so wrong. Why is he so dreamy?
+Somehow the characters in the film always figure out the password to some one's computer or a file.
Next time I try to figure out the password of my brother's computer, I shall look around the room and randomly type what I see:
"hmmm, I see a bunny doll on his desk... and a zombie video game CD right next to it... His password must be... ZOMBIEBUNNIES1994!"
*password denied... computer explodes*
+When Rorschach was talking, I thought I was watching Sin City.

Overall, I liked the film. It was entertaining and all but I can't say it's the greatest graphic novel film ever made. Maybe it's because The Watchmen (graphic novel) is a masterpiece, and you can't remake what's already perfect.

I'm assuming the director knew that already.

1 comment:

Supercolor IBz said...

i feel the exact same way about that shitty film, well not shitty but i kind of feel like theres was no point of adapting the novel into a screenplay. the director didn't seem to bring much more, or anything new/different. He had no vision, Just a bag of money. Watchmen the movie definitely exist just like rest of the Hollywood films to capitalize.
i enjoyed it, but i wasn't impressed.
the was half, good, the second, half rushed. The blue guys willy, gay.....i was well uncomfortable watching it swing around like that, they might as well have given the willy a script.